June 26, 2009
This is a message for those couples who put so much energy into raising their children that they forget about their own relationship.
As a divorced parent and married again parent I tell you this is dangerous and downright foolish. A happy marriage equals a happy family.
- Remember you and your husband were here first.
- Make your relationship a priority. Sure you love your kids, but they will be better off knowing you love each other.
- Look after your marriage as much as you look after your kids.
- Communicate, communicate. Tell each other everything – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Don’t let it fester.
- Kids feed off mom and dad’s love for each other. It’s healthy for them to see you kissing and hugging. It gives them a sense of security.
- Make time for each other. Sure this is hard at times, but so important.
- Make love not war. Sex is good for your relationship. It brings you closer and hey it’s that special thing only you have.
Always remember why you fell in love with your partner in the first place. Make an effort to keep the passion you had for your partner alive, sure it won’t be like the beginning, but be as passionate as you can about the relationship you have with each other. The rest will be easy.
May 27, 2009
The year 2009 for me is a time of reflection. Recently I turned 60 years of age. Part of attaining that age for me has been reflecting on my life so far. For many years I’ve been a history buff and amateur genealogist. Because of this it’s natural for me to look back on life’s victories and defeats. Here are some of the significant anniversaries in my 60th year, 2009.
- 60 years of paradise on earth, May 1949 to 2009.
- 40 years in the full-time work world, June 1969 to 2009.
- 34 years since I married, for the first time, 1975 to 2009.
- 31 years of fatherhood, 1978 to 2009.
- 23 years since end of first marriage.
- 10 years with the love of my life, Cindy.
The victories have far outweighed the defeats. Life is good. Now if I can just hang around for another 30 or 40 years.
February 9, 2009
February 12, 1999 I met Cindy. My first marriage ended in July 1986, so I had been single-again for almost 14 years. Cindy and I were married July 10, 2000 in the Cook Islands.
I had no intention of marrying again, and certainly had no desire to have more children. Cindy changed all that. She lit up my life.
She’s my friend, my lover, and the mother of our children. Cindy has stood by me in tough times. She has made me a better person.
We have a wonderful relationship. I look at the wedding band on my hand often. It symbolizes the love and respect we have for each other. I pray for many more years to spend with her.
May 8, 2008
Turning 59 tomorrow I thought I would wax philosphical on some of my favorite things. By the way I have the day off work on my birthday this year. Not only that but I will be spending time with some of the kids. The boy is in school, but I will be getting up and getting him ready. This involves feeding him and ensuring he goes out the door with clothes on. Believe me this is not as easy as it sounds. Then the twins who have the day off from preschool will likely be getting ready for action just after that. At least I won’t have to rush them out anywhere. They can veg out on the couch watching their cartoon heros while I relax with my coffee. My better half is working but comes home at noon.
She is having a get-together for me in the evening and I have been designated to prepare the food. Guess that’s a compliment. We are having a big feed of ribs and wings. All the family are coming to rub it in and remind me of the extra year.
So anyway here are the things I like in life in various categories starting with my very favorite:
- Best Moments – special time with my wife, cuddle time with the kids
- Color – Red
- Sports Teams – NFL – Oakland Raiders, NHL – Montreal Canadiens
- Sports to Play – Golf
- Authors – Vince Flynn, John Grisham, Elmore Leonard, Robert Dallek
- Genre to Read – Thrillers, Nonfiction, especially American history
- Hobbies – writing, philately (stamps, postal history), reading, computers, crosswords
- Movies – John Wayne westerns, action thrillers, Alien series (Alien, Aliens, etc)
- TV Shows – The Office, Scrubs, PBS documentaries
May 2, 2008
Sounds like a deep question, but to simplify just ask yourself this – what are the 5 things I value most in life?
There is no right answer to this exercise. It all depends on the individual and what is important to them and their well-being. With another birthday coming up, 59 years young this time, I thought I would have a look at where I am now in my life and here are my answers in order of importance:
1. Relationship with my wife. This is the root of all my happiness.
2. Love for my children. Darn they can be a challenge at times, but the love you get back its priceless.
3. Good friends. There is a country song by Tracy Lawrence and others now called, “Find Out Who Your Friends Are”. True friends stand by you through good and bad.
4. Health. Goes without saying, but you have to work at it.
5. Interests. Hobbies and activities that give you relaxation, stress relief, and maintain self-esteem. For me these include, philately, writing, reading, and golf.
“The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”, Stephen R. Covey, Free Press, 1989, 2004
April 17, 2008
Having more than one wife I’m sure would have some advantages. Now I can just hear the male readers thinking of the obvious, but when I really think about it – No Way! I love having one and have no desire for more. Here are my top ten reasons to stay in a monogamous marriage (tongue-in-cheek of course!),
1. Being nagged in mono is bad enough.
2. Nagging in stereo is an unthinkable concept.
3. One set of in-laws is adequate.
4. With the number of shoes in the closet from one wife — well you get the idea.
5. PMS once a month is sufficiently stressful.
6. Keeping one woman happy is ample challenge for me.
7. I buy too much bathroom tissue already.
8. More wives would mean more children – enough already!
9. One anniversary to remember is plenty.
10. I would never get to watch sports.