Facebook the destroyer of marriages.

August 23, 2012

Facebook as the cause of infidelity is on the rise. Why you ask? Remember the whole purpose of Facebook is to get or have “Friends”. It is now possible with the click of a mouse to reconnect with long lost loves, old flames or exes.

What may start out innocently enough as chatting, becomes flirting, becomes emotional cheating, becomes infidelity. Facebook makes it so easy to develop a relationship online. This can and often does lead to the desire to move the relationship to a face to face one.

A wife begins chatting with an old flame she discovered on Facebook. At first she just wants to catch up and be friends. Then the man begins flirting and telling her he still has feelings for her. She is flattered and pleased by the attention. It makes her feel good. She is stimulated and excited. She finds the feeling addictive and they take the chatting offline. Eventually they agree to meet. What began as an online reconnect has now blossomed into a full-fledged affair.

The reasons for this include boredom, excitement, titillation, attempting to recapture lost love. Whatever the reason Facebook facilitates more and more infidelity and divorces.

“Eighty-one percent of divorce lawyers say that the use of social media evidence in divorce cases has increased significantly in the last five years. Facebook lead the pack, followed by MySpace and Twitter.”

From “Infidelity From Facebook Cheating” by Dr. Frank Gunzburg, Marriage Counselling and Marriage Help, http://www.marriage-counselor-doctor.com/

Women are cheating as much or more than men says Michelle Langley, author of “Women’s Infidelity” (www.womensinfidelity.com). She goes on to state, “women’s relationships today follow a predictable pattern.

  • They push men for commitment
  • They get what they want
  • They lose interest in sex
  • They become attracted to someone else
  • They start cheating
  • They become angry and resentful
  • They begin telling partners that they need time apart
  • They blame their partners for their behavior….and eventually, after making themselves and everyone around them miserable for an indefinite, but usually long period of time, they end their relationships or marriages.”

Infidelity has always been around, but with modern technology has become easier. Facebook is now the preferred method of cheating.

The old saying, “the grass is greener on the other side” drives men and women to be constantly searching for something better. It’s harder to stay in a marriage and do the work to make it better, than it is to logon to Facebook and find something new, which may or may not be better. The easy way is a cop-out in this writer’s opinion.

I was raised to take the marriage vow, “I do promise to take you for better or for worse, in sickness or in health, til death do us part” seriously. Many spouses today stay in the marriage only  “til Facebook do us part.”


A Few of My Favorite Things

May 8, 2008

Turning 59 tomorrow I thought I would wax philosphical on some of my favorite things. By the way I have the day off work on my birthday this year. Not only that but I will be spending time with some of the kids. The boy is in school, but I will be getting up and getting him ready. This involves feeding him and ensuring he goes out the door with clothes on. Believe me this is not as easy as it sounds. Then the twins who have the day off from preschool will likely be getting ready for action just after that. At least I won’t have to rush them out anywhere. They can veg out on the couch watching their cartoon heros while I relax with my coffee. My better half is working but comes home at noon.

She is having a get-together for me in the evening and I have been designated to prepare the food. Guess that’s a compliment. We are having a big feed of ribs and wings. All the family are coming to rub it in and remind me of the extra year. 

So anyway here are the things I like in life in various categories starting with my very favorite:

  • Best Moments – special time with my wife, cuddle time with the kids
  • Color – Red
  • Sports Teams – NFL – Oakland Raiders, NHL – Montreal Canadiens
  • Sports to Play – Golf
  • Authors – Vince Flynn, John Grisham, Elmore Leonard, Robert Dallek
  • Genre to Read – Thrillers, Nonfiction, especially American history
  • Hobbies – writing, philately (stamps, postal history), reading, computers, crosswords
  • Movies – John Wayne westerns, action thrillers, Alien series (Alien, Aliens, etc)
  • TV Shows – The Office, Scrubs, PBS documentaries

 


Polygamy: Top Tens Reasons I Want Nothing To Do With It

April 17, 2008

Having more than one wife I’m sure would have some advantages. Now I can just hear the male readers thinking of the obvious, but when I really think about it – No Way! I love having one and have no desire for more. Here are my top ten reasons to stay in a monogamous marriage (tongue-in-cheek of course!),

1. Being nagged in mono is bad enough.

2. Nagging in stereo is an unthinkable concept.

3. One set of in-laws is adequate.

4. With the number of shoes in the closet from one wife — well you get the idea.

5. PMS once a month is sufficiently stressful.

6. Keeping one woman happy is ample challenge for me.

7. I buy too much bathroom tissue already.

8. More wives would mean more children – enough already!

9. One anniversary to remember is plenty.

10. I would never get to watch sports.


Never Say Never

April 7, 2008

I learned an invaluable lesson over the years – never say never.

When my first marriage failed and I became single again I said that I would never marry again, ever! This went on for my 14 years of single-again living. I also said that I would never have children again.

Well here I am married again with children again. What happened you’ll say? Well I learned that talking and living by the”never say never” rule severely limits life’s possibilities. Life needs to be lived one day at a time. Most of all happiness needs to me taken wherever it can be found. Take advantage of life’s opportunities as they arise.

When I met the love-of-my life, who happened to be twenty years younger than me, I could easily have said no way, but I would have lost my soulmate and the happiness that goes along with that. I also could have listened to others who judge and told me she is too young for you. It is OK to listen to others, but the only person who can decide what is best for you is you. I am so glad I made my own decision based on what was best for my wife and I.

My younger wife wanted children, I really didn’t think I needed anymore. Again I could have run and lost her. Instead I chose to make her happiness and mine the priority. Many others thought I was crazy. I listened, but in the end made the decision to have children with her. This has resulted in more happiness than I thought possible. If I had decided based on the opinions of others I would be very lonely and unfulfilled in my life today.

The moral to this story is never say never! Always consider all the possibilities and never rule any of them out. Make the final decision based on what will make you and those you care about deeply truly happy. I’m sure glad I did.


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