Facebook the destroyer of marriages.

Facebook as the cause of infidelity is on the rise. Why you ask? Remember the whole purpose of Facebook is to get or have “Friends”. It is now possible with the click of a mouse to reconnect with long lost loves, old flames or exes.

What may start out innocently enough as chatting, becomes flirting, becomes emotional cheating, becomes infidelity. Facebook makes it so easy to develop a relationship online. This can and often does lead to the desire to move the relationship to a face to face one.

A wife begins chatting with an old flame she discovered on Facebook. At first she just wants to catch up and be friends. Then the man begins flirting and telling her he still has feelings for her. She is flattered and pleased by the attention. It makes her feel good. She is stimulated and excited. She finds the feeling addictive and they take the chatting offline. Eventually they agree to meet. What began as an online reconnect has now blossomed into a full-fledged affair.

The reasons for this include boredom, excitement, titillation, attempting to recapture lost love. Whatever the reason Facebook facilitates more and more infidelity and divorces.

“Eighty-one percent of divorce lawyers say that the use of social media evidence in divorce cases has increased significantly in the last five years. Facebook lead the pack, followed by MySpace and Twitter.”

From “Infidelity From Facebook Cheating” by Dr. Frank Gunzburg, Marriage Counselling and Marriage Help, http://www.marriage-counselor-doctor.com/

Women are cheating as much or more than men says Michelle Langley, author of “Women’s Infidelity” (www.womensinfidelity.com). She goes on to state, “women’s relationships today follow a predictable pattern.

  • They push men for commitment
  • They get what they want
  • They lose interest in sex
  • They become attracted to someone else
  • They start cheating
  • They become angry and resentful
  • They begin telling partners that they need time apart
  • They blame their partners for their behavior….and eventually, after making themselves and everyone around them miserable for an indefinite, but usually long period of time, they end their relationships or marriages.”

Infidelity has always been around, but with modern technology has become easier. Facebook is now the preferred method of cheating.

The old saying, “the grass is greener on the other side” drives men and women to be constantly searching for something better. It’s harder to stay in a marriage and do the work to make it better, than it is to logon to Facebook and find something new, which may or may not be better. The easy way is a cop-out in this writer’s opinion.

I was raised to take the marriage vow, “I do promise to take you for better or for worse, in sickness or in health, til death do us part” seriously. Many spouses today stay in the marriage only  “til Facebook do us part.”

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3 Responses to Facebook the destroyer of marriages.

  1. Rhonda Carol says:

    I can 100% say your exactly right. After dating my husband for 10years before we married. Then we were married 9 years. Yeah we joined Facebook. Worst thing ever. My husband started talking to a lady that committed on everything he posted. I had no idea she was messaging him on the message board. I think back now and remember when he became very sharp with me. I felt as if I couldn’t do anything right. It went on for over a year. They were meeting. She lived 2 States away. He would tell me his plant was sending him to her State for training. I checked our phone records and found a number that was repeated over and over. Then found out who it was. She was married to. I would have never believed this could happen. But it did. It’s been a year and I’m trying to move forward. I’ll never use social media again.

  2. stefaniejett says:

    For myself, finding old boyfriends on Facebook was only reinforcement of how stupid I was when I was younger (teens/early 20s). The only negative effect it has had on my marriage was to leave me wondering if at the time I chose to marry my husband, was I still maybe a little bit too young and stupid?

    • stamperdad says:

      Thanks for the comment. Glad to hear it didn’t have too negative an effect on your marriage. We can always look back and like they say 20/20 is hindsight. The point was it can be very damaging to a marriage.

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