Don’t Forget Your Relationship

This is a message for those couples who put so much energy into raising their children that they forget about their own relationship.

As a divorced parent and married again parent I tell you this is dangerous and downright foolish. A happy marriage equals a happy family.

• Remember you and your husband were here first.
• Make your relationship a priority. Sure you love your kids, but they will be better off knowing you love each other.
• Look after your marriage as much as you look after your kids.
• Communicate, communicate. Tell each other everything – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Don’t let it fester.
• Kids feed off mom and dad’s love for each other. It’s healthy for them to see you kissing and hugging. It gives them a sense of security.
• Make time for each other. Sure this is hard at times, but so important.
• Make love not war. Sex is good for your relationship. It brings you closer and hey it’s that special thing only you have.

Always remember why you fell in love with your partner in the first place. Make an effort to keep the passion you had for your partner alive, sure it won’t be like the beginning, but be as passionate as you can about the relationship you have with each other. The rest will be easy.

A Father on Father’s Day

I loved my Dad and I miss him. It’s been five years since he passed. This Sunday the loss of him will pull at me again. The last few years whenever I saw him I always hugged him and told him I loved him. Growing up I didn’t do those things a lot. I’m glad I did later on. 

Father’s aren’t perfect. God knows we make lots of mistakes, but it’s so important for children to have a strong father-figure in their lives. 

No matter what’s transpired during the day I always tell my kids I love them when I arrive home from work and at bedtime. 

As a father I thrive on the love I receive in return. To love and be truly loved back is what life is all about. 

Daughters especially seem to need the love of fathers. I have four daughters, two are grown up now, and two are growing up. The greatest mistake of my life was letting one of them down in a big way when she needed me. It’s something I’ll regret the rest of my life. Dads make mistakes. With the support of my loving wife I’ve worked hard at learning from my mistakes and improving as a person and a father. 

Sons need their fathers, but differently than girls. Fathers must work hard to be good role models for sons. Sometimes I don’t realize how much my son loves me until I see how he is trying hard to emulate me. At those times the impact I’m making on him as a father becomes very clear. 

Being a father is a huge responsibility. I’m working hard to be a good one. I love you kids.

Time is on My Side

Symbol of Time - Clock

Time slips by far too quickly it seems. Why is it as you age it passes faster than when you were young? Likely just an illusion, but still my perception.

Last evening I made a resolution. I just have to find more time for writing. Family time is so important, and of course full time employment keeps the wolves from the door. Somewhere between the two I intend to spend an hour or two writing and querying magazines about the finished articles I have.

Finding time to read is also a problem. As a writer one must read. I read on the train to and from work. Before bed I read. Television is a time waster, but for a writer of nonfiction, the news and the History Channel are useful.

Jim Croce wrote a song called “Time in a Bottle” about wishing to be able to put it in a bottle and keep it. Nice thought, but time is non-renewable. Once it’s gone its gone. The secret is to manage it to your advantage. Easier said than done.

The Love of My Life

February 12, 1999 I met Cindy. My first marriage ended in July 1986, so I had been single-again for almost 14 years.  Cindy and I were married July 10, 2000 in the Cook Islands.

I had no intention of marrying again, and certainly had no desire to have more children. Cindy changed all that. She lit up my life.

She’s my friend, my lover, and the mother of our children. Cindy has stood by me in tough times. She has made me a better person.

We have a wonderful relationship. I look at the wedding band on my hand often. It symbolizes the love and respect we have for each other.  I pray for many more years to spend with her.

New Life Stage: Being a Grandpa

My New Grandson Lucas

I entered a new phase of my life recently. Lucas Kendall Prior came in the world October 19, 2008. He weighed in at 7 lb 13 oz., and was 21 1/2 inches long. Birthplace was Calgary, Alberta. My daughter Tricia and her husband Stephen Prior are the proud parents.

It’s a bit of a strange feeling, but I’m proud to be his grandfather. Once I held him for the first time, I immediately fell in love with him.

This picture of him was taken a couple of weeks ago. He is a real charmer.

The Meaning of Life 101

Sounds like a deep question, but to simplify just ask yourself this – what are the 5 things I value most in life?

There is no right answer to this exercise. It all depends on the individual and what is important to them and their well-being. With another birthday coming up, 59 years young this time, I thought I would have a look at where I am now in my life and here are my answers in order of importance:

1. Relationship with my wife. This is the root of all my happiness.

2. Love for my children. Darn they can be a challenge at times, but the love you get back its priceless.

3. Good friends. There is a country song by Tracy Lawrence and others now called, “Find Out Who Your Friends Are”. True friends stand by you through good and bad.

4. Health. Goes without saying, but you have to work at it.

5. Interests. Hobbies and activities that give you relaxation, stress relief, and maintain self-esteem. For me these include, philately, writing, reading, and golf.

Further Reading:
“The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”, Stephen R. Covey, Free Press, 1989, 2004

Polygamy: Top Tens Reasons I Want Nothing To Do With It

Having more than one wife I’m sure would have some advantages. Now I can just hear the male readers thinking of the obvious, but when I really think about it – No Way! I love having one and have no desire for more. Here are my top ten reasons to stay in a monogamous marriage (tongue-in-cheek of course!),

1. Being nagged in mono is bad enough.

2. Nagging in stereo is an unthinkable concept.

3. One set of in-laws is adequate.

4. With the number of shoes in the closet from one wife — well you get the idea.

5. PMS once a month is sufficiently stressful.

6. Keeping one woman happy is ample challenge for me.

7. I buy too much bathroom tissue already.

8. More wives would mean more children – enough already!

9. One anniversary to remember is plenty.

10. I would never get to watch sports.

Never Say Never

I learned an invaluable lesson over the years – never say never.

When my first marriage failed and I became single again I said that I would never marry again, ever! This went on for my 14 years of single-again living. I also said that I would never have children again.

Well here I am married again with children again. What happened you’ll say? Well I learned that talking and living by the”never say never” rule severely limits life’s possibilities. Life needs to be lived one day at a time. Most of all happiness needs to me taken wherever it can be found. Take advantage of life’s opportunities as they arise.

When I met the love-of-my life, who happened to be twenty years younger than me, I could easily have said no way, but I would have lost my soulmate and the happiness that goes along with that. I also could have listened to others who judge and told me she is too young for you. It is OK to listen to others, but the only person who can decide what is best for you is you. I am so glad I made my own decision based on what was best for my wife and I.

My younger wife wanted children, I really didn’t think I needed anymore. Again I could have run and lost her. Instead I chose to make her happiness and mine the priority. Many others thought I was crazy. I listened, but in the end made the decision to have children with her. This has resulted in more happiness than I thought possible. If I had decided based on the opinions of others I would be very lonely and unfulfilled in my life today.

The moral to this story is never say never! Always consider all the possibilities and never rule any of them out. Make the final decision based on what will make you and those you care about deeply truly happy. I’m sure glad I did.